Say what you mean or mean what you say.

There are times when I doubt my own communication skills, I think we all do sometimes. A phrase that in my head sounds reasonable and inoffensive when read or heard by another suddenly becomes a point of argument. So it was on Friday. I said something to my youngest that was over heard by my daughter that has been staying, who was upstairs "packing" ready to leave. Said daughter came downstairs, said something angrily and then stomped back upstairs, not even giving me a chance to answer her accusations. In that moment I needed Tall so very badly. I needed someone to tell me I had done nothing wrong, instead of telling me to stop shouting at her for being rude. Like a wounded animal I lashed out in mental pain, my grief raw, red in tooth and claw. I sat on the sofa and sobbed. I rocked backwards and forwards, trying to get some relief from the moment I was in, a moment when all I wanted was to be with Tall, no matter where he is. 

My youngest went and spoke to her and explained what we had been saying. That her perceived "whispering" was probably due to me walking around the room. The truth is that if she hadn't been eavesdropping she wouldn't have misunderstood. She calmed down and I pretended everything was alright. It was only once I got home from dropping her off at the coach station that I allowed the grief loose once more. 

Today I wonder if what I have said to others might be misunderstood. Am I simply being over sensitive / paranoid / over thinking? I am always so careful to read and re-read my emails, my FB statuses and text messages, checking that the words cannot be misunderstood or cause offense, yet I still fall flat on my face. Is it me or is it others? Who knows. So to all those I might have upset unintentionally, or offended, something I would never do intentionally, I apologise. Like my school reports would often say about my handwriting "must try harder."