Is this what I am to become?

This post may appear heartless and unsympathetic. I thought I should warn you all in advance.

As  I mentioned previously I have joined a forum for people who have lost their partners. It was "sold" to me as a group who were too old for a group set up for the under 50s who had been bereaved and by implication, was for those over 50, but not yet retired. The reality is that there seems to be some of both. That doesn't really matter of course. There are people who lost their partner 9 years ago and some who lost their partner only months ago (me included). 

At first my raw grief seemed to be "normal". Everyone told me what I was feeling was what everyone felt. I got a lot of virtual tea and sympathy and it made me feel I wasn't going insane. That was six weeks ago. I am still struggling with Mike's loss, but I am also seeing a pattern of behaviour that worries me. There is a handful of regular posters that are still displaying their grief online as being the same as it was when they were first bereaved. Two, three, four, even years on they are still seemingly at the same spot they were at six months. I don't want that. I don't want to be still sobbing into my cornflakes five years from now. Mike definitely didn't want that for me. 

I am aware that everyone's path of grief is different, that sometimes we can find ourselves back where we started, but to still be doing it years and years on is something I don't want.