My mental health day.

Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. We were encouraged by the campaign to talk about mental health and wear yellow as a sign of our support. We had celebrities from royalty to pop royalty, footballers and pundits all talking about their struggles despite being rich / famous / successful. Mental health issues affect people from all walks of life. We couldn't hear from those who were most affected, their voices are silenced. People like Ellie Soutter, a promising Team GB snowboarder who committed suicide on her eighteenth birthday. 

People jumped on the proverbial bandwagon, sharing and liking posts on the subject of mental health. Today they will go back to sharing "funny" videos and photos. Today they will have forgotten that the struggle for some is real, that it is every day. Today frontline services, the ambulance services and police forces across the UK will be dealing with those who are on the verge of trying to take their own lives and in some cases, dealing with those who have succeed. Talk is cheap, what we need is action. We need to actually campaign for better mental health services, with trained professionals, not expect young police officers, who have no mental health training, to talk to someone who is about to set fire to themselves. 

I know my bereavement isn't strictly a mental health issue, but I can speak from experience about how people like to appear to be saying all the right things, but out of sight is out of mind and those supportive messages from the first month have all but dried up. No one wants to see or hear me sobbing, even if it is only virtually. 

I would like to share something with you all. A couple of weeks ago I started to sort out the cabinets in the dining room (a loose term). Lots of things were boxed and sent to the charity shop, some things were thrown away. I created space and then refilled it, but at the end I had a storage unit that I had been using as a shelf for my cookery books and various other piles of "stuff". The unit was an old 1970s blockboard covered in laminate sort. Worth nothing on eBay, but still usable, so I put it on Freecycle. Freecycle is a site where you can offer things for free or ask for something, the idea being that less stuff gets thrown away. Within an hour I had six people asking if they could have the unit, was it still available. The first person to ask was someone who had posted several wanted ads. I contacted her and told her she could have it. She turned up the following day and when she arrived I not only gave her the unit, but I also gave her a hand blender that she had asked for on Freecycle. Clearly surprised she kept asking if I was sure, didn't I need it. I said no, I had used it to make my husband's fortified milk shakes, but now he has died I don't need it. She said the usually things about being sorry, and then gave me a hug and said she was amazed at how strong I appeared. We chatted for a bit about her baby who was three months old, me saying the usual thing of enjoy him while you have him, time flies and before you know it he will be grown up and gone. After a good chin-wag she was off. I felt very righteous because of my generosity (I know it would have been the bin but for Freecycle). I gave away several other things, but I didn't get that sense of satisfaction from any of the other things. A week later I got a text from the young mum, asking how I was doing and then again this week.  That young mum has restored my faith in humanity, when some people who we once called friends are busy ignoring me, she is asking how I am doing. I gave her an old piece of furniture and in exchange I have received something worth much much more, a glimpse of the Good Cheer Pixie.