Three months

Dear Tall

I couldn't let the day go without marking the fact it is three months since you died. I miss your body next to mine in the best bed in the world, the one you insisted we needed. I miss your hand holding mine as I go to the shop. I miss you walking up behind me when I am doing the washing-up, when you would wrap your arms around my waist and hug me. I miss having you to bicker with, knowing that when the tiff was over neither of us would hold a grudge and the matter would be forgotten. I miss all the little things that others right now are taking for granted. 

Before you went you were convinced I would be okay, you had great plans for what I should achieve in the future. Three months on, and have yet to do any of the things you had wanted. We couldn't predict how long it would take me to grieve, no one knows how long their grief will take to scar over, and no one knows how long it will take another. I am trying to move forward as you had wished, it isn't easy without you by my side.

I tried to explain to someone after you had gone, that the love we shared was rare. I had "loved" before, or I thought I had. The second I met you I knew we had a connection. It wasn't sexual, it was just the easiness of it all. We talked for hours and not once did I feel awkward. We became great friends before we became lovers. I guess that is what I miss most, your friendship.

I will never stop loving you my dearest darling friend.

Good Cheer Pixie x x x