Wednesday, 28 April 2021

Not helping.

 I've woken up feeling blue, and it isn't a very good start to Merry May. You see yesterday was my last shift working for the ONS on the Census 2021 and I am going to miss actually talking to people. I am going to miss the weekly team meeting online and the seemingly simple fact that I had to text my team leader at the end of my shift to say I was finished and home safe, and that they would reply. 

The past six weeks have been tough at times, especially the first few where walking for three hours, clocking up between five and seven miles during the shift, had my knees screaming. There was one weekend when I thought I might have to resign, I didn't think I could cope with it anymore. Yet I perservered and now I am going to miss it. 

I seem to be in the middle of the perfect storm again. As people in the UK are getting excited about being able to go to the shops, have a drink outside at the pub and meet up with up to six people outside, I am reminded that I am alone. That I have no one to meet up with or to go to the pub with. My little, very part-time job has ended just as everyone else seems to be off enjoying themselves and I have the anniversary of Tall's death looming on the horizon.

I know only I can change things, I just wish I knew how. I wish I had that one person who I could trust to help me find the way through.


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