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| Toni 20/5/2008 - 15/02/2025 |
Last August I read an article* about the grief that people feel when losing a beloved pet. I knew that when the time came to say goodbye to our beloved Toni, that I would be inconsolable.
And so it is. Her death has brought with it echo grief. Grief for Tall. Grief for my children who have all left home. Grief for all the lives I haven't lived because of decisions made on the footpath of life.
She had been ill, but seemed to be on the mend. At 6:30 in the evening she ate her dinner. At 7:00 she had lost the use of her legs. One trip to the emergency vet. At 8:00 she was gone. I feel like such a failure. I couldn't save her. I wanted her to live to 20 not 16. People keep telling me I did the right thing, but it was me, and me alone, who signed her death warrant. How I wished Tall was with me so we could make that decision together.
Toni was our "baby". She arrived when the house was full of people. Over the next six years the number dwindled to just the two of us, just as Tall started dialysis. She was rarely alone and doted on Tall. She felt his loss very badly and never really got over it.
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| Toni the day we got her 19/08/2008 |
*https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/15/the-surprising-shame-of-pet-loss-you-are-supposed-to-think-humans-are-more-important-than-animals
